And I’m not really supposed to swear while I’m doing it, which adds an entirely different layer of “sh*tballs” to the “I need to write a guest post tonight” equation.
I’m just sitting here with two dogs and half a glass of red wine thinking:
What in Sarah Palin’s underpants do I know about personal branding?
The answer is nothing. Jack. Zilch. Less than Bristol Palin knows about birth control – that’s how much I know about personal branding.
Now that I’ve spent a good seven and a half minutes lamenting over that, let me figure out what I do know something about. You’re dying for pearls of wisdom and who am I to deny you? I suppose I could make a list:
- The proper proportion of bacon to stuffed jalapeno
- How to perform a relatively outstanding rendition of Janis Joplin’s “Mercedes Benz”
- At least three ways to incite a riot at my family’s Thanksgiving table in under thirty seconds if all siblings are present
- How to be me*
* Disclaimer: This bulletpoint took me roughly 37 years to figure out. If you’re not interested in waiting that long, keep reading. If you’re four-years-old, why are your parents letting you use the computer without supervision?
That whole “how to be me” thing is pretty useful. I have no idea if it has anything to do with a personal brand or not.
In any case, here are some things I know on the subject and how they’ve led me from a not-so-pretty place on my sofa earning $900 per month to a six-figure-plus income doing what I adore every day in just over two-and-a-half years.
People Do Business With People
Many years ago, I worked for a family-owned diamond broker in Knoxville, Tennessee. Aside from the fact that I lived in Knoxville, it was an invaluable experience for me.
The owner and his son were wise – they knew how people bought diamonds. All it took me was watching them for a few short weeks – I was soon the top salesperson in the store. I was in my early twenties and the other salespeople were in their mid-thirties and older.
Not only were they pissed I was outselling them – they were pissed I was even allowed to have any customers.
The funny part of the entire scenario was that I never sold a single thing to one of my customers who walked into the store. I talked to them.
I was new to Knoxville so I asked them about favorite places to eat, not-to-miss local cultural events, fresh ideas for where I should take my boyfriend (a lifelong resident of Knoxville) for an anniversary dinner. I asked them about the person they were buying for.
Through it all, we probably talked more about stuff than we talked about what they were buying. And y’know, I didn’t agree with all of them on everything. That’s because…
Humans Have Opinions
Holy turtles on toothpicks – don’t we? Imagine me – a brash, outspoken gal with a socially liberal bent keeping house in a conservative (and quite Christian) hotbed like Knoxville?
Our differences didn’t keep me from sharing with the person standing in front of me, though. I can remember an assortment of lively debates held over a jewelry counter – politics, principles of marriage, Ford versus Chevy (ummm, neither?!). You name it.
What I realized is that we have a choice in this life: we can stand by what we think and feel or we can roll over and show the belly.
When’s the last time you had a productive conversation with a bobblehead doll?
Skip the nonstop nodding and pick a side. Nobody goes to the store to order “meh” and roadkill? That’s what happens to folks who prefer a life in the middle of the road.
Humans Screw Up
It’s inevitable. In fact, I screwed up today. When I admitted to myself that I was fallible, humility wasn’t far behind. This point is pretty simple.
There’s a guy (or gal) you know. You know, the person who knows everything. The person who is never, ever wrong. About anything.
He could be wearing a Broncos jersey at the Superbowl and when the Pats win, that’s who he was rooting for all the time. Someone’s always holding him back, it’s never his fault, and he knew what would work but NOOOOOOOOOO – Bob had to do it his way.
Bottom line? He’s an idiot. People screw up. You screw up, I screw up. Life’s a giant hokey-pokey ring of people screwing up 24/7.
The best we can do is build the relationships that allow us to not just apologize, but ask how we can do better.
Humans Build Relationships
They’re the greatest gift I have in my life – the people in it. And it took me a long time to figure it out, but they have to be earned.
You can come blasting in somewhere like a bull in a china shop, telling people that THEY MUST LIKE YOU AND RELATE TO YOU. Kind of a jackass move – and one that doesn’t work.
Relationships require that we first be human, have opinions, respect people for those opinions (and find people whose opinions we respect), and have earned the right to ask for forgiveness AND assistance when we screw the pooch.
I’m asked frequently if, on account of my outspoken and brash personality, I’m ever afraid that I’ll lose business.
And the answer after 39 years of living is an unqualified no.
I don’t know anything about being a personal brand, but what I do know about is being human and being myself.
If you’re in charge of building a brand, just go back and fill in the word “brand” in various places above. You just might find that the principles of building a respectable, beloved, and persevering brand have a whole lot to do with being human and not so much to do with fancy logos or hex colors.
About the money…for all that’s holy – sure, we’re all in business to earn a living, but I don’t much care about the money. What I care about is waking up every morning and getting to be myself, not someone else’s version of the person I should be.
I want people to have the tools to do better business and build better brands from the get go. Maybe these four things will get you thinking about who you are and who you’d like to be – and what you’ll do when you actually grant yourself the chance to be the most fantastic thing on the planet: yourself.
After all – everyone else is already taken.
EDITOR’S NOTE:
Lindsay Bell writes - If you haven’t noticed by reading the above, the inspiring Erika Napoletano has a healthy sense of self, and IS – in every aspect of her life and work – just who she IS, the rest of y’all be damned! 
So it’s no surprise that her recently released book is titled “The Power of Unpopular” – if you haven’t read it yet, you should. Also, when you do pick up a copy, follow us at @jugnoome, and tweet us a picture of yourself and your book gadding about around town, or hanging out together on your back deck! We will DM you a special “The Power of Unpopular” discount code for tickets to Social Mix 2012. Also, we will be awarding an autographed copy of Erika’s book to TWO (2) lucky Blog.Jugnoo readers who leave their thoughts (popular or not!) in the comment stream of this post. So, get out there and get popular by being unpopular!!
About Erika Napoletano
I think what has always struck me the most about you, Erika, is your ability to, at some level, separate the persona of Redheadwriting from you – and I know that has been difficult for you at times when people take liberties with your feelings because of the outward facing persona.
jasonkonopinski It’s a big step in anyone’s career, I think, I make that distinction. To know where the persona and person collide — and THAT, my friend, is where the magic happens!
jasonkonopinski I met RedheadWriting at The Conference That Shall Not Be Named last year in New York. Didn’t cuss once. I asked for my money back.
Danny Brown Well, I’ll be dipped. @RedheadWriting
Danny Brown You lie like a rug. I said it was nice to finally f*cking meet you.
RedheadWriting Haha, so you did! Refund retracted.
Danny Brown Mmmhmmm…that’s what I thought.
I love this post – just be yourself, gosh darn it!! It’s what I say to all my people who aren’t in social and think it’s a big scary monster – sheeesh, you’ve gotten *this* far in your lives being a human being (well, some of them, anyhow!) – just be the same online as you are offline! Be real, accept human’ness in others, and you’ll do just fine! Thanks again Erika for guesting with us. Your curse-laden RedheadWriting blog posts and other assorted online witticisms never fail to make my day!! Hugs, LB
belllindsay You bet, lady — and thank you for inviting me to your little web ‘hood over here. Happy to trash the place up with my redneck self
Holy cow, great post Erika! What an inspiring read. Every point is bang on and I’ve had the same experiences as you when it comes to selling – you can’t just barge in and get people to BUY BUY BUY. Doing business with people means that you understand what they’re looking for, and that you connect with them to get to know what they’re all about. And if you don’t GENUINELY enjoy doing this, then you shouldn’t be in that line of work (IMHO). Great points as well about screwing up and looking for ways to do things better. We all screw the pooch from time to time, it’s inevitable. Taking a lesson from it and actually applying it shows grace and humility. It’s not revolutionary – it’s how it should be done. Thanks for sharing your insight, Erika – it was a treat to read. Cheers!
JulieTyios My pleasure, Julie…I, in fact, screwed the pooch today. Not that way. Oh, damn.
Hi Erika,I love that you started off with “sh*tballs”I agree. People are people, not brands and you really are better off just being yourself. About the term, Personal Branding … In all honestly, I could take it or leave it as it is the de facto term, but I do think someone is WAY more interesting when they are genuine. That’s all.Your story reminded me of my sister-in-law. She has a masters degree in education, but ended up selling time shares in a Colorado resort. She is easygoing and simply talks to people, and she’s been the top salesperson for many years. Funny thing is, she’s the least “salesy” person I know. I guess that’s the trick, huh?This is a non sequitur and has nothing to do with the post, but I thought you might like it. The other night I was watching Gordon Ramsay on the TeeVee and he tasted something and said … “it was so hot it would blog his c*ck off” … Sorry, had to squeeze that in
Craig McBreen Hey Craig, on the note of personal branding, did you see our post from the other day about it? http://blog.jugnoo.com/the-other-side-of-the-personal-branding-coin/ via belllindsay
JulieTyios Hey Julie, No, but I’ll definitely take a look. Thanks
Craig McBreen This whole comment was worth it for the Gordon Ramsay quote. I swear that man and I were meant to be married
Him or Ari Gold.
RedheadWriting I figured that …
You’d make a cute couple, but you might need that Orbit girl. You remember those “dirty mouth” commercials? …Man I love this … http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToAQMORMcwo&feature=related
Craig McBreen Thanks for sharing this Craig, I hadn’t seen it before… I must be living under a rock!
Mark_Harai Always loved those Orbit ads
Brilliant post Erica… Funny, you not knowing “sh*balls” about personal branding is what helped you rock your own personal brand! It’s all about proudly and profoundly being yourself; you certainly have that mastered miss! Cheers to you!
Mark_Harai Thanks so much, Mark!
This is really a phenomenal post, and one that I will refer to anyone who is unsure of how to flesh out their online personality. I’ve had so many conversations recently about the false sense of entitlement that people tend to have regarding social media relationships. People seem to think that by simply connecting electronically you’ve created a strong relationship and your post really hits that point on the head.On a side note, I had a big guffaw at your four-year-old joke. Thanks for the insights and the laughs.
MattAndaloro I am here to entertain and inform. Anything else is just a waste of time
Thanks for stopping by!
I want to be like you when I grow up. What? That’s already taken? Damn, I guess I will have to be me then.Being me is one thing I can do; it might not look pretty all of the time, but it is the one thing I can do by just ‘showing up.’ Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
bdorman264 Damn straight, Bill
Good to see you.
You always have such an amazing way with words, Erika! I think this phrase sums up one of the more vulnerable pieces of putting yourself online: “When’s the last time you had a productive conversation with a bobblehead doll? Skip the nonstop nodding and pick a side.”I’ve found it a scary thing to put myself “out there” knowing that some people won’t like me. Offline there are nuances: We may disagree over politics but share a love of abstract photography. Or food. Or wine. Or cats. Online, however, people tend to check-in or check-out. There may not be an opportunity to find common ground.Nobody gets excited about bland, but I think it can still be a challenge to pick a side and figure out where to put ones flag in the ground :-) Thanks for sharing your insights, I look forward to reading your book!
amysept My pleasure, Amy! And personally, I think sticking your flag in things is fun. Wait. Oh, nevermind…
“Relationships require that we first be human, have opinions, respect
people for those opinions…,
and have earned the right to ask for forgiveness AND assistance when we
screw the pooch.”I need to remember that in my relationships, the ones I have earned and worked for and have built up, I have “earned the right to ask for forgiveness AND assistance…” There’s no shame in this.
Chris B None whatsoever
I heard it said before, but never was it this much fun! All the best home builders I know named their company after themselves. That doesn’t necessarily equate to building a personal brand by default, but if you’re the guy responsible for putting someone’s domicile together in such a way that it doesn’t burn down when you flick a lightswitch, or fall over when the wind gets above 20 mph, it helps to put your name on things. Especially when they’re writing you checks the size of annual salaries.At first I didn’t get it, and I thought these guys were kind of simple (couldn’t they think of a better name than their own?)… but now as I get more and more comfortable in my own skin I can see how that simplicity was always their greatest asset and gave them a daily reminder that they had to stand behind their name like it was everything they owned.And, if you haven’t bought Erika’s book, do it now. You can’t afford to wait any longer.
ajaxwoolley Dang, Ajax — where should I send the check for that glowing endorsement?
(thank you)
RedheadWriting You can send it c/o Danny Brown at Jugnoo, Inc. and I’ll… um… send it along…
The ‘be you’ story has been told a gazillion and four times. And the second I figured out that was where this blog post was going to go I said to myself, “Great. Here we go with the normal be yourself, everyone else is taken (which she still said), etc. load of crap.” Then I kept reading. F*ck me. This was probably the most sensible, least-expected version of that ‘be you’ story I mentioned above, and it was the one I most related to. Could it be that I love Erika’s writing? (Quite possibly, I just told her so a couple weeks ago) Could it be because it really truly kicked all of the cliches in the face and said, “Shut the f*ck up.” (Likely) I mean heck, she fit a legitimate bobblehead doll question into her reasons — how could I not fall all My-Little -Ponies-in-love with this post?Truth be told — it not only was written in the tone that I most ‘connect’ with — but it’s the tone that I believe most people should be ‘communicated’ to in: reality. Not the “I’m a social media rockstar BE YOURSELF BE AUTHENTIC BE REAL”…reality. But more of the “I’m someone who doesn’t mind calling a spade a spade even if I’m the damn spade, here is what has worked for me you should try being your own version of ‘it’…reality.This sounds like a love fest, so what, deal with it.I loved this post. I love Erika’s reality. I love this kind of message.I also love root bear floats, but that didn’t seem relevant.
ryancox You were doing so well until you mentioned root beer – make it an actual beer float and then we’ll be talking!
Danny Brown You’re right. I had the ball teed up for me, and I settled for a single. Le sigh.
ryancox Thanks for the kind words, Ryan
I also like root beer and root beer floats. Mmmmm…
Amazing Stuff Erica! ryancox said it. Pretty sensible stuff! Seems pretty logical to me! Why do we try to overcomplicate stuff? The answers seems to be under our noses the entire time! Maybe all these processes, policies, strategies that we develop are humans trying to be “perfect” ’cause in business you can’t screw up; you have to make wise decisions; you have to build successful strategies; you have to prove ROI…. hence you have to be “better” than human. You have proven that success can doesn’t have to come at a cost of our humanity…. but it’s essential because of our humanity!
hessiej Loved your elaboration of the ‘sensible’ point!
hessiej We overcomplicate by nature. It’s our way of delaying the inevitable.
RedheadWriting You’re talking about women, as opposed to people in general, right?
Danny Brown RedheadWriting And awaaaaaayyyy we go…..!
I can’t stand the Broncos or the Pats and am filled with glee when they lose, but I dislike the person who is a perpetual victim more.We all have challenges and we all spend some time blindly walking into walls or stubbing our toes, but some people figure out how to ask for help and or accept that we don’t know it all.Makes a real difference. One of the best parts of your post was the ‘graph where you said you do what you adore. I love that and am trying to make a point to surround myself with people who like themselves, like what they do and enjoy life.
I appreciate the honesty and direct-ness of this post. It is funny how humans try to complicate simple things to no end. Being easiest, quickest way of being perceived as you want to be is to first be it!
@RichardMelick @redheadwriting Thanks for the link!
I’m repeating what everyone else on this thread has said, but yeah, I totally loved this post! It’s the most challenging part about running a modern digital marketing agency — it’s not even about educating clients on branding but rather on how “being themselves” does not mean restricting all social media posts so that they come from a generic “we” rather than individual “I.” As if an entire committee wrote each tweet. Thanks for the laughs! I can’t wait to read your book!
@Marjorie Asturias Thank you, Marjorie! There’s way to much we-weeing on the webz, well said! (And thank you so much for buying the book.)
You bet, Adam. And thanks for reading!